This Week’s Winners: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!

1. Fighting, no assaulting a couple over a cab. (Really? I hope that person was late, anyway.)
2. Making school bomb threats. (Would you cut that out? Just cut it!)
3. Walking naked on the George Washington (GW) Parkway (N. VA).(Actually, it really got this gentlemen a ride to the nearest mental health facility. But walking naked in the public is usually frowned upon. So take that off your bucket list.)
4. Suppressing voter turnout by falsely declaring a winner via automated phone calls. (That’s designed to keep his or her supporters from voting. If my guy or gal’s won already, then I don’t need to keep pressing forward, right?) While we’re on the subject, here’s a few other tricks used: Passing out flyers stating that before you can vote, you need to bring a current phone bill or electric bill to the polls; Spreading the rumor that there’s a fee for voting; Misstating the deadline date for voter registration, and the list goes on. (Know your rights, kiddies. Seek and ye shall find.)
5. A university basketball player arrested for disorderly conduct. Exiting a venue, frequented by college students, reportedly, there was a fight that spilled onto the street. Reportedly, the basketball player was not in the fight, but was shouting. That’s why he was charged. There was no mention if the fighters were charged with anything. (I wonder what the heck, did the basketball player shout! I have an outside voice. I’m often accused of shouting. OMG, I’m so frightened now.) Reportedly, the police said something like, “Oh no matter, it was a light charge.” (Oh. Well, okay, then.)

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This Week’s Winners: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!

1. A former Santa Fe, New Mexico Po Po (lemme tell you why he’s former law enforcement) is discovered allegedly masturbating and talking lusty (I guess, to himself and a photo of a naked girl) in his patrol car. Apparently, that’s frowned upon! (Who knew) Now, Policemen, we know you are our finest, but tell that one Po Po brother to get a room! The headline read, Copping a Feel. Now, this particular Po (I mean, Policeman) has been in arresting-quality trouble before; but, allegedly, he’ll only get probation for this latest infraction (I read that the misdeed will indeed have a tad more misdeeds added to it to round out the full description.)
2. Secret Service Men (not the alleged ones below, I imagine) would like to talk to musician Ted Nugent about his ranting, offensive, treason-ish, threatening, violent remarks made to a crowd of people, against the President of the United States, the Vice President, Cabinet Members, etc. His remarks, I suppose, were made in an effort to support his choice of Presidential Candidate, and likely Republican nominee, Mitt Romney (who was happy to have Nugent’s endorsement. Today he’s rethinking). But what-in-the-world was Nugent thinking? (And sadly, too many Americans have been thinking it.) (Oh, I know—instead of threatening to kill/hurt/malign in statements and in deeds/disrespect anyone who disagrees with you—let’s kill racism, bigotry, mean-spirited comments and deeds, and plain old bad manners).
3. Horny Secret Service Men and Military members of our Armed Forces with their eye, and alleged peckers, off the prize—i.e., protecting the President, allegedly met up with alleged hookers in Columbia. Now Fellas, here’s an instance where, perhaps, masturbation would have been best. (I’m not promoting, just saying.) And reports say that perhaps it was eleven SSM involved? If true, just what does that constitute? I mean, as a woman, I don’t know. Does 11 men, traveling in a pack, get horny all at the same time, and make the same stupid decision together? Or does it infect, one-at-a-time, like a STD? Is it a horny gang of cohorts? Seriously, I am hopeful these allegations are not true.
4.        A Russian Doctor in Moscow allegedly got pissed off in a dealership and instead of heading to the complaint counter, headed for a dealership loaner car and allegedly demolished the showroom, filled with alleged new cars. (Forgive me, but “Tee Hee” –for I’ve been there and felt like doin’ that! It was the vision of a strip search/squat-and-cough that held me at bay.)
5.       Okay—who put the makeshift meth lab (aren’t they all makeshift?) inside an Alabama Walmart restroom. And get this, re: a Walmart restroom , it’s not the first time that’s happened. (What the H.E. double-Hockey-Sticks were you thinkin’?) (I hate cooking—especially in the bathroom.)
6.     Former presidential hopeful, who likes expensive haircuts, and cheated on his dying wife, faces charges and possible jail time for (let’s say it together, children) alleged campaign violations. Hmmm.
7.     Pippa and a Pistol in Paris. Pippa, are you going to jail for brandishing a pistol as a stupid prank (be it Live or Memorex)? Hear-tell, Paris has very, very strict gun laws. (Somebody could have mistaken you for someone with brown skin and shot first/thought about it, second. [But maybe they don’t do that there.]) But you’re in luck. Last reportedly, the police plan to play hear no evil; see no evil, just because it’s Pippa—and apparently, she was just being a pip, anyway! But, hey you, local friends and family, don’t you try to pull that prank at home! ‘Cause your behind might go straight to the pokey—or worse.
8.     A 25-year-old woman is charged with fraud for allegedly continuing to receive her government assistance, after she won a sizable Lottery award. (Really? In all that excitement, you couldn’t remember to call and stop the government check? Well, I understand that. I forget to call a lot of people—and it has gotten me into near-trouble in the past. She says she’s fighting the charge.)
9.     Okay. In Georgia, a 6-year-old kindergartner was handcuffed and led away by police to stop her allegedly uncontrollable temper tantrum. The first reports relented that she was charged or going to be charged with something (Sorry, I first heard the report in my sleep. And, yes, I do listen to the news, while sleeping). Later reports leveled that no charges were going to be filed. She was handcuffed (with hands behind her back) for her own safety. (I don’t know, but did somebody ask that child a math question? I know that’s what always set me off!)
10.    Gun-toting Granny has a gang. (That’s it. That’s all. I don’t want her gunning after me.)

This Week’s Winners: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!

1. The University of Maryland at College Park student who leveled threats via email. He was charged for the threats, but then admitted to the hospital for a psych eval. Well, he’s been released from the hospital, and he’s been sacked with an additional charge – the misuse of email. (I bet you didn’t know that was a crime. It’s a stupid crime to commit. Use some common sense, people. Hey, hey, you—get off that Twitter. Writing that crap. Yah dummy!)
2. Another alleged dummy writing anti-Semitic slurs in a Maryland University elevator. (You got all the way to college and you didn’t learn (1.) not to write on the wall; and (2.) Your writing utensils are for jotting down class notes, and writing your homework papers and assignment drafts? (The police are looking for you, alleged Dummy.)
3. DUI ramming into a Seven-Eleven—with his SUV. He narrowly missed a young woman purchasing a lottery ticket (both times: when he crashed into the store, then skidded out on the fearful run). Young lady, you’re already blessed. May God continue to be with you. DUI-guy, you’re blessed, too. You get to live the rest of your life not in remorse and shame for killing an innocent person with your frivolous non-thinking actions.
4. Somebody arrest that Tornado in Dallas, Texas that threw around those trucks like Tonker Toys! (I’m just sayin’.)
5. California teacher makes headlines when he leaves his family to play hide-and-seek with an 18-year-old student; then gets arrested when it’s discovered that he had an inappropriate relationship with an even younger student. Allegedly he dipped his wick in an even younger student age pool. (C’mon man, leave the kiddies alone. Go play with someone your own age and size—at least appropriate.)
6. Air Traffic Controller mistakes pilot’s distress call for a prank. He didn’t hear all the identification numbers like he should have, the report said because perhaps he was distracted (i.e. hadn’t devoted his total attention to the task at-hand.) [Charges may be filed. Funny (not) what can land you in hot water when you’re not paying attention. Especially when lives are at stake.]
7. Four Fairview, Illinois women beat down a waitress in a restaurant because reportedly, she messed up an/their order. (Really? When I’m that hungry, I just swing past the drive-thru. No sittin’ down and waitin’ for me. Seriously, you need to take that aggression around the world! Beat the Hell outta some injustices. Some shhhhh..t like that!)
8. To the woman who tried to smuggled drugs by sewing them in the wig…See where all that misplaced ingenuity got you? Now go figure out something that can help get us to world peace or something. And at the very least, woman, buy a better-looking wig!
9. State Department Employee, one who passed all the bells and whistles of security checks and so on, arrested for pornography. Not the first; and sadly not the last. (Just stop it. Stop it, now!)

The sad thing about mistakes, stupidity and gall (especially all of the aforementioned when you can’t take it back), and misguided judgment (in case I wasn’t clear) is that these acts have no respect of person! Believe me, I know that, too (not the porn thing)! Been-there-done-that/Don’t-want-the-T-shirt!

This Week’s Winners: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!

1. The Blue Jet Pilot charged with interference with a flight crew. It was a midair meltdown on a flight from New York to Las Vegas. (What happened? Did he have to go to the bathroom? I know I never use the bathroom on the plane. But then I’m a camel. I’ve mastered the technique.)
2. The TSA agent moonlighting by running a Brothel in The Crowne Plaza Hotel. Well, I should say, post news flash, former TSA agent. (Hey, what-up dog? Was it worth it?)
3. Arlington, VA man assaulting a couple (the woman, seriously) fighting over a cab after a concert. (Really?)
4. Cincinnati Bengals cheer leader and her mother indicted—one for bangaling with an underage student; the other for tampering with the evidence of the alleged bangaling . (Or perhaps it was a bait-and-switch bangaling caper? Hmmmm)
5. The singing DUI who serenaded the arresting policemen all the way to the jail, singing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. (I didn’t know liquor made you wanna sing.)
6. A granddaughter murders her 83-year-old grandmother. (Too serious to comment about. Last week has harbored, sadly, several violent domestic violence crimes.)

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      I could go on and on, but I’ll stop right there. Of course, I consider these examples serious and scary, and I’m not judging (‘cause that’s really scary, and dangerous).

     I’m just sayin’ don’t get so uppity about going to jail/prison—‘cause the crime’s not different just because it was you! Know-what-I’m-sayin’? 

     So slow your roll, think stuff over. Anger, hurt, misunderstandings—out-of-control, and snap emotional decisions can land you in strange consequences.  And remember—there, but for the grace of God; go I. Sadly, I’ve been there, too, and I was given grace. Whew! (I’m still living and learning.)

     If you think you’re slick, why don’t you get slick enough to use your slickness for good, not evil. The ultimate return is much greater. Together, let us live to change a heart and a mindset for the good of mankind, from the inside out. That’s my goal, and the mission of The Prison Plumb Line. 

     *** www.yvonnejmedley.com