This Week’s Winners: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!

  1. First there was a naked man shopping in Walmart (remember that, a couple of weeks ago?). This week a naked woman shops in a lumber store. (Do you think she was worried about getting splinters?)  Well, she was arrested—not for shoplifting (because it was apparent that she was not)—but for nudeness/lewdness.
  2. A Philadelphia man gets into an argument about whether or not he paid the cashier in a doughnut shop. When he gets his doughnut and coffee, he throws his hot coffee at the young lady (scalding her arm). Then he storms out, but not before the entire rage is logged into the surveillance camera. After seeing his (stupid) face plastered all over the media, he surrendered to the police. (So what was it fella? Were you running late for the office? Were you stressed from work? Did you have an argument with your wife that morning? Or did the consumption of carbs laced with caffeine mean just that much to you (I know that sometimes it means a great deal to me, too, but…)? Now, I ask you, in retro-common sense; was your stupid behavior worth it? Was it?
  3. J.P. Morgan Chase Blunder/Scandal. Shouldn’t somebody go to jail over all this? (I did hear that somebody was allowed to keep their (his) bonuses/raises and such.)
  4. Hospital worker sells patients’ medical records. (Did your momma teach you anything about integrity?)
  5. Bicycle thief sells his ill-gotten-gain on Craig’s List. Before he went to jail, the owner set up a meeting and stole it back. (While I don’t encourage such hutzpah, Hooray!!!)
  6. A man snatches an iPhone from a woman. She gives chase and renders a bloody-murder scream! Metro passengers look then invoke a collective, “Oh-hell-naw,” and give chase as well. The robber gives it some re-thought—after he’s cornered—and gives the iPhone back. (Too late. Off to jail you go!)
  7. A teen attempts to rob a Police Station (I don’t even wanna know what city this little boob-head lives in. what happened? Did the munches make you do it?)
  8. A man tries to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. (He learned that if you don’t quite make it over the side, you get arrested. [Hopeful that didn’t add to his depression.])
  9. A drunk man, outraged by the room rates at the Ritz Carlton in Washington, DC, pulls a gun on the desk clerk. (But you don’t have to feel sorry for him. The Arlington County, VA jail put him up for the night in one of its 6 x 9 cells for free. He slept off his high and his dumb decision.)

People, people think before you act!!!! Remember: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!!! 

BTW, I will be in jail tonight—conducting Bible Study!!

Here’s to sending a loving and sincere shut-out to all my incarcerated peeps!!

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