This Week’s Winners: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!

  1. Man arrested in an alleged immigration scam. Here’s a word to the wise—if you wanna become a U.S. citizen, get your family members over (legally) to these shores, even seek asylum, etc. don’t make your hookups, and give monies (upwards of thousands of dollars) with people strolling around in the mall. If you’ve got that kind of money to throw around, I could use some cash to fix my air conditioning (it’s getting hot in here), and I could teach you English skills (my day job) as a return. (I don’t know exactly where to point you, but I’m sure the proper destination would involve an official-looking office.)
  2. What the Hay Were You Thinkin’?  A D.C. Fire and EMA Lieutenant allegedly steals 20 bales of hay from a Upper Marlboro, MD horse farm/stall/farm/hay lot (sorry, I was a city kid. I haven’t a clue about what you’d call homes for hay.). The victim knew the alleged hay-thief, and said, if she (yes, I think it’s a she-thief) had of only asked for a couple of bales, he would have just given them to her. Who knew? (What makes a person hard up for hay? How much does hay cost? I heard about $6 per bale. (I almost spelled it bail.) Perhaps it was needed for a scarecrow that was on fire, and the Lieutenant showed up on the scene only to determine that she needed emergency hay to perform emergency Hay-surgery. If so, I can see why there was no time to just politely ask.) One last bit of trivia about hay: I don’t know why we always see people smiling during hayrides. I took a hayride, once, and that darn hay hurts! I had on jeans and it still pricked my thighs, something awful. I got in trouble for trying to stand up on the ride back!)
  3. Campaign aids/staffers and such going down for the cause. In this instance, it was for the wrongdoing during the last DC Mayoral race. (Don’t look now, but I think playing dirty is the same as riding dirty.) Lord only knows where all this mud-reveal is gonna lead and/or finally land.
  4. Spycam Case of Former Rutgers Student. So for giggles, at the expensive of the pain and anguish of a classmate, this young man (who perhaps is truly sorry—for a variety of reasons, now) films his fellow student engaged in a private intimate moment (a kiss, it was reported). The student/victim commits suicide. I’ll stop here because if you’ve been following this, you know it’s just too much to comment on, but… note to self and to anyone else within eyeball shot of reading this blog: Anything/idea that begins with the description of Prank just throw it in the trash before it has time to fester and/or materialize into something irrevocably and hurtfully tangible.
  5. The Parliament Fistfight in the Ukraine. I don’t know if anyone got arrested, but it was hilarious to watch. (I wonder what or who started it? Can I call it a Parliament? Do they have a Tea Party over there?)
  6. The Case of the Neighborhood Nanny. So the six-year-old boy is playing alone on the playground near his home (I don’t know why he was out there by himself, but I’m just gonna try to let it go). Someone dubbed the Neighborhood Nanny takes it upon herself to take the child to her home without telling the parents or anyone else. A community-wide (and perhaps, beyond) panic and search ensues.  At last check, it was reported that the boy was not harmed. (Perhaps this person thought that she was doing a good deed, but it wasn’t well-thought out. And now (at last report), she’s facing charges.
  7. The Baby-in-the-dryer at the Laundromat Fiasco. This stupidity made national news. As a peekaboo prank (there goes that “P” word, again), a man, first thought to be the 2-year-old boy’s father, places the child in a dryer and shuts the door; while a woman, who was first thought to be the little boy’s mother, folds laundry and looks on. There’s a panic among all who witnessed the act when the dryer starts to tumble (as dryers tend to do) and the man could not get the dryer door to open. It turns out that the woman/the laundry-folding onlooker was the babysitter. The man—well, his identity has yet to be determined. (Any bets on why he hasn’t come forward, yet?) I guess we’ll see if charges will be filed. Having grown up at the hands of babysitters (my mom was a hardworking single parent who loved me), my heart just goes out to all parents who must entrust their children to someone who ultimately proves to be untrustworthy (and stupid). And my heart goes out to trustworthy childcare providers who make their living giving their best and their all, and have to be subjected to this kind of bad publicity. Thank God the baby is okay.

Hay/Hey Peeps—think before you act!!!! Remember: It’s Easier to go to Jail Than You Think!!!